This is Me...On my Soapbox

I wasn't going to write about it, but after several days of non-stop interviews, and seeing countless pictures, I decided I just couldn't let it go! Yes, I am referring to the lovely single, unemployed woman in California, who after much thought decided it would be wise to give her SIX children EIGHT more siblings. Now, I can believe her claim that she didn't intend to have eight more BUT to even have ONE more when you already have SIX is just beyond me. Here is what I have a problem with....

1. She is an unemployed college student who used student loans to help pay for her fertility treatments that cost upwards of $100,000.

2. She receives $490 a month in food stamps and $2,379 a month in social security payments for 3 of her 6 children. One has autism, one has ADHD, and the other has a mild speech problem with small signs of autistic behavior.

3. She has no private health insurance and therefore uses free state insurance. The hospital bill is rumored to be over ONE million dollars. The taxpayers of California will be forced to pay her dream of having a large family.

4. 3 of her children have disabilities and yet she wants to add MORE children? When I think of this alone it INFURIATES me. I think of Lexie and how challenging her life can be at times. I think of how much of her time and energy is spent on helping Casey get better. I can't imagine the stress she sometimes feels when she has to split up her time between Casey and her other two boys. I can recall MANY conversations I've had with her about treatment options, new studies, speech therapy, physical therapy, occupational therapy, the cost of getting Casey the best treatment possible, the frustration of knowing their options are limited because of where they live or because of financial restraints. Here is a mother that is devoted to helping her son get better and it IS HARD on HER and yet she does it. She puts her own needs and wants aside and she does what has to be done. How much time do you think this mother of 14 can give to her autistic son? Is he getting the treatment he needs? Is he getting the attention he deserves? THIS MAKES ME SICK!

5. When this woman was asked why she wanted so many children she explained that she grew up an only child and wanted to compensate for that by having lots of children around her that would love her unconditionally. She talked about having a void in her life and wanting to fill it by having lots of children. IT WAS ALL ABOUT HER.

I am not one of those people who believe what she did was medically unethical. She had a choice, I understand that, and that is what is so frustrating. There are thousands of couples like me and Dallan who would give anything to have children. We are made to jump through countless hoops, have our personal lives dissected and analyzed, show proof that we have private health insurance, have minimal debt and an above average yearly salary, all of which is to ensure that we are suitable parent material. And when the government has decided that yes, we are acceptable people we are then forced to pay OBSCENE amounts of money to finally have the privilege of raising a child. Hearing stories like this literally hurts my heart and I am ashamed to say makes me questions why people like her are able to have FOURTEEN children when there are other couples in the world like Emily's sister who would give their right arm to have JUST ONE.

The frustration is that there is no way to solve this problem. There will always be selfish people in this world that put their own needs above those of their children. My heart aches for her children. I hope I am wrong about this woman. I hope she has the strength of character to give her children all that they need in order to be happy and successful in this life. And along with the majority of the population I too hope she has achieved her dream of having a large family and is finally done procreating.