Over the years Dallan and I have had several "talks" regarding the issue of whether or not you should teach your children the correct names for their body parts.
PLEASE KNOW I DIDN'T WRITE THIS POST SO WE COULD DEBATE THIS ISSUE.
I AM PERFECTLY OKAY WITH BEING WRONG!!
Me? I am old school. I find it a little uncomfortable when I hear certain words come out of a two year olds mouth. But that's just me! I know this parenting theory can cause confusion. Take Madelyn as an example. The other day she noticed a girl wearing a shirt that was well let's just say, having a really difficult time concealing the top portion of the owner's body. Upon seeing this girl Madelyn looked at me and said....Mom, I can see that girl's elbows", I thought about correcting her but AGAIN was a little uncomfortable with the thought of my baby girl talking about breasts, so I left it alone. In my opinion there will be a time and a place for "those" conversations. Dallan on the other hand disagrees with my philosophy. I don't understand why he is adamant about this. It isn't like he has done extensive research. No, I believe the real reason Dallan feels so strongly is because he has never experienced one of those truly embarrassing moments when your child says something so extreme, so ridiculously shocking that you actually want to run and hide, until now....(lucky for him this happened in our living room and we were the only one's around to hear it)!!!
Here's how it all played out.....Jackson has a really big belly. So big in fact that Dallan has made up a little song about it. "Big Belly, Big Belly, Big Belly Jackson, Little Belly, Little Belly, Little Belly Madelyn (Madelyn likes him to sing it saying that she too has a big belly. Can you imagine him singing that to her when she is 16?) all sung to the tune of "10 Little Indians". So there we were, just the three of us....Dallan, Jackson, and me. Dallan was singing his little song and after the first big belly verse Jackson spoke up and this is a quote..."No daddy, Jackson not have a big belly, Jackson has big penis". I don't think I have ever laughed that hard in my entire life. Dallan was speechless. When he asked where he learned that word (and NO I didn't teach him to say THAT!!!!) I explained that I had taught him the proper name for it and did so at HIS request.
So what did we all learn.... Well, Dallan realized that it's okay to be "old school" and that for the time being having his boy use the term "pee,pee" is MORE than OKAY with him.
And me....I learned that I LOVE teaching Dallan a lesson every now and again, especially when the results involve his ears turning red from embarrassment.
Now that was a moment when I thoroughly enjoyed feeling a little uncomfortable!
7 comments:
That is TOO funny! I'm all into teaching the kids correct terms. I know you don't want to debate....neither do I but I have to say that Carter the other day in response to hearing Bryce say "mommy going potty from penis" on the other side of the bathroom door, I hear Carter reply, "no, Brycie it's a vagina and leave mommy alone, she needs her privacy. A vagina is even more private than a penis because it's special-er." I go out and thank then for letting me have my privacy, and then address Carters comment by saying, our private parts are all different, but no one's is better than the other. He corrects me by saying, "no mommy, yours is more special-er because babies come out of your private part so that's why your extra special."
Sorry if that story was too graphic for your "old school" eyes too read! :) I found it amusing and your blog reminded me of it.
I love love love that picture of him. It goes so well with the story. I don't teach my kids the correct words because I refuse to say them myself for any other reason than to occasionally shock someone.
Love it! and Love boys!! After I brought Rowyn home from the hospital one of my boys asked when she was going to grow her penis.
Christy nothing is too graphic for this blog, okay there are definately some things that would be classified as "too graphic" but your comment was definately withing the parameters! Let me just clarify...it's not the terminology (that's misspelled isn't it?) I have a problem with, its hearing those words coming from little mouths that make me feel a tad but uncomfortable! And just so everyone understands...I didn't say I didn't want a debate because I was trying to be bratty, I just didn't want some crazy lurker reading this post and feeling the need to lecture me on all the reasons why I should teach my boy that his "pee Pee" is really called a penis.
By the way Christy I LOVED your story!
I'm just laughing and not sure what to say. Little kids.
We just had "the talk" with Haley and Abby...I had to use all sorts of big girl words and pretend like I was composed and mature the whole while. When Clark came home and asked Haley about "the talk" all she said was, "Yeah Dad, did you know boys have two bags?" I suppose she got the gist of things.
That's so funny!
I have always just used the real names for things. We just named everything from the start, and yes, it has led to some uncomfortable moments such as Emily asking in a decidedly non-indoor voice in a grocery store at the age of two if she could "touch my vagina" and, if not that, if she could touch her own. Or schooling Jacob Laws at four in the fact that she doesn't have a "pee-pee," and neither does he for that matter--then going on to educate him in proper terminology. It's just part of growing up in my mind, I guess.
But then I am the girl who came home from 6th grade asking my mom what an orgasm was, and she told me in honest, age-appropriate language that it was the most exciting part of sex.
I think it's a lot like any other parenting decision, you do what works for you, your personality and the personalities of your children. I do love that this story illustrates that what we think we want and what we actually want are often two completely different things:).
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