Monday, May 16, 2011
Friday, October 01, 2010
On the Night You Were Born...

"On the night you were born, the moon smiled with such wonder that the stars peeked in to see you and the night wind whispered, Life will never be the the same. For never before in story or rhyme (not even once upon a time) has the world ever known a you, my friend, and it never will, not ever again....Heaven blew every trumpet and played every horn on the wonderful, marvelous night you were born".
Reading that book to him started me thinking...I spent so much of my young adult life trying to measure up. It was exhausting work and in the end I always fell short of someones expectations. I never felt pretty enough or smart enough. Truthfully I just didn't feel like I was enough of anything. That was until I meet someone who literally changed my life. He was something of a spiritual giant. A man who said here I am God...use me for good. And this is what he taught me....
It is the simple truth that each of us is a unique child of a loving Heavenly Father. We were sent here with all the qualities and characteristics to be happy and successful in this life. Say that out loud...I AM A CHILD OF GOD. That is powerful. That makes you and me valuable... worth more than we can even comprehend. Knowing that one bit of eternal truth changes everything. It changes the way you see yourself. It changes the way you see the people you love and perhaps more importantly it changes the way you see those that are HARD to love. With this knowledge comes responsibility. With this knowledge comes peace of mind. It is my hope as a mother that I can instill this bit of truth in both of my children. I hope I say it loud enough and often enough that it becomes a permanent fixture in both their minds.
So to Madelyn and Jackson.....Be happy with who you are. When feelings of inadequacy and self doubt creep in...pray. Pray and ask Heavenly Father to help you see yourself the way HE sees you. Ask Him to help you learn to love yourself. Remember you have something to offer the world because there is no one in the world like you. Believe in yourselves. Believe in your talents. Believe you have something great to offer the world. And one last thing... I will let you in on a little secret....an amazing thing occurs when you learn to love yourself....loving others and seeing the good in people becomes almost effortless.
I Believe in You.
Love,
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
And So It Begins.....
I think I have been holding out hope that our darling Madelyn would grow up to be well....socially awkward.Thursday, June 03, 2010
How do you let go?

Over the years we have lived in lots of places. I loved moving. I loved the adventure of going some place new. I loved that every few years you were forced to go through your things and get rid of the junk you were holding on to. I also loved that with each new place you got the opportunity to reinvent yourself. Our first move was to Charleston, SC. Dallan and I were newly weds. Life was good. Very good in fact. It was there I learned just how valuable friendships are. We meet amazing people with huge hearts and great capacities to love. Dallan and I witnessed miracles there. We have cherished memories of being a part of an extended family of friends who cried with us and finally celebrated with us when we were blessed with Madelyn. But Charleston was easy to leave. Only because everyone we loved was moving on too. Our next stop.....Washington. From the moment we walked into our new ward it felt like home. I remember sitting behind Jessica Washburn in church. She turned around and said something funny and when she turned back around I whispered to Dallan I like her. She was the first of MANY women who I came to love, admire, and respect while living there. These women became my lifeline. As I struggled with the waiting for yet another baby these women rallied behind me. And when we finally got news of Jackson they were there crying happy tears right along side of me. And then it was time to leave. But this time was MUCH, MUCH different. I was the only one leaving. It was one of the hardest most depressing times in my life. My heart ached to be back there. And so I closed myself off. If I couldn't have that I didn't want anything else. I am still in touch with many of those friends. I have watched from afar as they have celebrated new babies, personal successes, and sadness that comes from losing someone you love. Not being there has made me sad, jealous, and sometimes even angry. I haven't made the same effort to meet and make friends because I wanted those friends back. So this is me attempting to restart and open myself up to new possibilities here. Since leaving I have become like a newly returned missionary...forgetting all the hardships while remembering only the wonderful. I suppose a part of me thought me closing the door would somehow mean that, that time in my life didn't mean as much as I thought it did. However, I have realized that closing the door doesn't mean forgetting or even leaving people behind. What it does mean is that I can now come to terms that things may never be like that again and that's okay. It has taken me a long, long time to finally say... good bye.
Monday, May 31, 2010
For Lexi.....

The Tenney Family. They are some of our FAVORITE people!

Waiting to board the Finding Nemo ride.
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
To a Great Man....
A couple of years ago I had the thought that I wanted to make a list of people who had made a positive impact on my life and then write each of them a letter thanking them. Well like lots of ideas...they came....and then they left. But as I was reflecting on this new year and what I wanted to accomplish again the thought came to me and this time I decided I was actually going to follow through with it. So I made the list. And out of all the names there were just two people who I hadn't seen or spoken to in several years. Finding them was going to be the hardest part. I set about my search and after several emails to the MTC and several google searches later I found one of the two. Actually, I found someone with the same name...Kelly R. Gehret. I decided to take a chance and write this person an email hoping that they were somehow related. And sure enough the Kelly Gehret I wrote was the son of President Gehret who was my Branch President in the MTC. But I was too late. President Gehret passed away in 2004.So who was President Gehret? Upon arriving at the MTC I was scared...shell shocked...unsure of myself, and above all those insecure feelings I was left feeling VERY aware of all the wrong choices I had made. I felt worthless and in no way worthy to be there. And in comes President Gehret. To say I was intimidated would be an understatement. When he spoke...you listened. This man saw right through me. He knew I was struggling. What I loved most about him was his unwillingness to give up on me. He saw something good in me. He believed in me...believed I was capable of becoming more than I had allowed myself to be up to that point in my life.
The few letters he wrote to me while I was a missionary are some of my most prized possessions. The lessons he taught me about forgiveness, God's love, and the importance of seeing yourself the way God see you are priceless. I am only sorry I never got to tell him how I finally moved past the guilt. How I learned to love myself in spite of the mistakes I had made and how because of him I try harder to see the good in other people. Thank you President Gehret for changing the course of my life...I look forward to seeing you again someday.
Thursday, December 10, 2009
The results are in...

her name and 
number just
let me know!
Tuesday, December 08, 2009
All Aboard...

Thursday, November 05, 2009
Help us Celebrate!

Tuesday, November 03, 2009
Let's Stop the Madness....
As I was lying there I thought about the last time I "blogged". It had been forever. In fact it had been so long that most people don't even check to see if something new had been written. I asked myself why. Why did I stop filling in those friends and family who I don't get to see or speak to very often about what is happening in my life? And then it dawned on me....FACEBOOK. I had exchanged personal and most often heartfelt posts about what I was experiencing to one line tags that most people could care less about (I mean who really cares that I am doing the laundry or going to the grocery store). Is that what friends want to know now? Are we really ready to trade in meaningful conversation for real time updates on the ordinary and mundane things we do each day? This lead me to go to those blogs I use to read religiously. There are of course were a few who didn't let me down. I know I can always count on Emily for an enjoyable and often times inspiring look into her life. But for the most part our blogs had been abandoned. Traded in for less than fulfilling conversations.
For my part in this travesty (no, I don't think I am being too extreme here) I apologize. I am not saying that my blogs were always enjoyable or greatly written but at least they were honest. At least it provided a way for those people I love to share in my life. I am sad to say I don't feel CONNECTED anymore.
I am sitting here asking myself how did I allow this to happen. I am someone who LOVES and VALUES her friendships. I just don't want to know what someone is doing I want to know how they are FEELING, what they are EXPERIENCING. I want to be a part, even if it is just a small part of their lives. When did it become okay to trade in the good stuff for...FLUFF?
SO this is my attempt to stop the madness I helped to create. To those friends whose blogs I read sometimes DAILY...I am sorry I have missed out on your life...your thoughts. And for those that are perfectly content with real time I am okay with that too.
Now I think I will go on facebook and post that I have updated my blog. Maybe that is the only way someone will actually read this!
Thursday, September 17, 2009
What do you do??
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
A New Opportunity!

Sunday, August 16, 2009
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
WE NEED HELP!
As of now there is a bill that will stop this tax credit from expiring. It is the Adoption Tax Relief Guarantee Act of 2009, H.R. 213. When I researched it there was only 96 representatives who were signed on in support of the bill.
We need help in generating awareness and support from our local and state leaders. This not only hurts me and Dallan but countless other families nationwide. With all that is happening with health care reform and the economic crisis we are in, I am afraid this issue will fall by the wayside.
Please contact your state leaders asking them to support the Adoption Tax Relief Guarantee Act of 2009, H.R. 213! Thanks for helping to spread the word!
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
It's the End of an Era!
As of last Sunday I am no longer in young women's but am now serving as 1st counselor in Relief Society. I am SO THANKFUL for the change. So THANKFUL that I am being pulled away from what I am comfortable with and into something that will be new and challenging. And even more THANKFUL that our Heavenly Father LOVES us and KNOWS what we need BEFORE we even know we NEED it.
Saturday, May 16, 2009
I've infiltrated your network. Raaannnnsssssooom!

COME BAAAAACKKKKK or things will only get worse.
If you change your passwords (and I'm being generous enough to leave those alone so you can still log on) I'll escalate. You don't want that. I'd hate to have to send fish in the mail. And I'll do it, too. Don't tempt me.
For those of you who do not know me, I'm Lexi. Mandee up and abandoned me during this time of year SEVERAL years ago. She has yet to come back. Now looking at this, you'd think, "why would she come back...you're freaking crazy"
that's why she'd come back.
Thursday, May 07, 2009
Is It or Is It Not?
An update on the wedding..... The flowers arrived in great condition (I had 350 yellow carnations and 80 stems of spray roses delivered the Thursday before the big day), the chocolate flowed, lights twinkled, newlyweds gazed affectionately into each other's eyes, mother's cried, cameras flashed, and at the end of it all I sat down and breathed a sigh of relief. It was beautiful and I couldn't be happier for my little sister.
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Random Thoughts by Mandee
There will be yummy desserts though! I am now the proud owner of 2 Sephra Chocolate fountains (anyone want to come over for some chocolate) and 20 pounds of premium milk chocolate. There will be strawberries (of course), fresh pineapple, frozen bananas, berry kabobs(that is just a fancy name (hey that sounds just like those Fancy Nancy books I read to Madelyn) for blackberries, blueberries, and raspberries skewered together on a stick of some kind, homemade rice krispy treats, cream puffs, pretzel rods, peanut butter balls, slivers of a walnut tart that is to die for, etc, etc, etc. AND....for those who don't like sweets....there will be nachos and homemade salsa. We are a family who loves food but especially MEXICAN food. We wouldn't know that to do with ourselves if there wasn't a tortilla chip in close proximity.
I will be glad when the festivities are over and I KNOW Dallan will be VERY glad when it is all said and done. Then his wife won't have any more excuses for NOT getting the house cleaned up. Having said that maybe I don't want it to be over because as you know....I LOVE A GOOD EXCUSE!
Let's see what else....I am excited that the new season of So You Think You Can Dance is almost here. Although I don't think it could possibly top last season. Madelyn has only 18 more days of school left and then comes the DREADED summer. 2+ months of being locked up in the house because it is too dreadfully hot to go outdoors. I think we will be spending LOTS of time at my grandparent's cabin, but they don't know that yet.
Here is one final random thought and then I must get back to doing something...do you think it's bad that I love watching the Biggest Loser while eating a drumstick (ice cream not fowl) all the while thinking it would be nice to lose a few pounds?
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
THAT'S MY BOY!!! (embarassing body talk, please read with caution...especially you Heather James)
Over the years Dallan and I have had several "talks" regarding the issue of whether or not you should teach your children the correct names for their body parts.
PLEASE KNOW I DIDN'T WRITE THIS POST SO WE COULD DEBATE THIS ISSUE.
I AM PERFECTLY OKAY WITH BEING WRONG!!
Me? I am old school. I find it a little uncomfortable when I hear certain words come out of a two year olds mouth. But that's just me! I know this parenting theory can cause confusion. Take Madelyn as an example. The other day she noticed a girl wearing a shirt that was well let's just say, having a really difficult time concealing the top portion of the owner's body. Upon seeing this girl Madelyn looked at me and said....Mom, I can see that girl's elbows", I thought about correcting her but AGAIN was a little uncomfortable with the thought of my baby girl talking about breasts, so I left it alone. In my opinion there will be a time and a place for "those" conversations. Dallan on the other hand disagrees with my philosophy. I don't understand why he is adamant about this. It isn't like he has done extensive research. No, I believe the real reason Dallan feels so strongly is because he has never experienced one of those truly embarrassing moments when your child says something so extreme, so ridiculously shocking that you actually want to run and hide, until now....(lucky for him this happened in our living room and we were the only one's around to hear it)!!!
Here's how it all played out.....Jackson has a really big belly. So big in fact that Dallan has made up a little song about it. "Big Belly, Big Belly, Big Belly Jackson, Little Belly, Little Belly, Little Belly Madelyn (Madelyn likes him to sing it saying that she too has a big belly. Can you imagine him singing that to her when she is 16?) all sung to the tune of "10 Little Indians". So there we were, just the three of us....Dallan, Jackson, and me. Dallan was singing his little song and after the first big belly verse Jackson spoke up and this is a quote..."No daddy, Jackson not have a big belly, Jackson has big penis". I don't think I have ever laughed that hard in my entire life. Dallan was speechless. When he asked where he learned that word (and NO I didn't teach him to say THAT!!!!) I explained that I had taught him the proper name for it and did so at HIS request.
So what did we all learn.... Well, Dallan realized that it's okay to be "old school" and that for the time being having his boy use the term "pee,pee" is MORE than OKAY with him.
And me....I learned that I LOVE teaching Dallan a lesson every now and again, especially when the results involve his ears turning red from embarrassment.
Now that was a moment when I thoroughly enjoyed feeling a little uncomfortable!















