My parenting rule of thumb is when a problem arises between one of my children and a child that doesn't belong to me is take the side of the other kid. I try VERY hard to approach the situation with this mind set....What did my child do to provoke the problem. I do this not because I think my children are mean but as their mother I KNOW what they are capable of and as much as I hate to admit it...they aren't always PERFECT. For instance...Jack (he prefers the name Jack...at least for today) LOVES to tease. Now his teasing isn't meant to harm or to make another person cry (unless you are his big sister and then his ONLY motive is to inflict as much emotional turmoil as possible). No, he just loves good natured teasing, but other kids sometimes don't understand that. So the first question I ask when I see a problem between Jackson and another kid....Jackson, are you teasing? And one thing you have to LOVE about him is he tells the truth. If he was teasing he will fess up. With Madelyn...I know she LOVES to be the BOSS. When she plays someone she wants to be the director, you know the one calling all the shots. So when I see a problem I automatically ask...are you being bossy? So that is the first thing I asked when she swam over to me today and said these girls are being mom. Apparently, one wanted to play with her and the other well didn't and she was the alpha in the pack. So I give her my "girls are just mean" speech and tell her that I will play with her. Twenty minutes later the "nice" one comes over and says would you like to play with us because it is getting a little lonesome with you. Those were her exacts words. HALLELUJAH my faith was restored. Madelyn looked at me and I said sure you can go play...just don't be bossy (I whispered that to her as not to embarass her). So there I was in the pool (yes...in a bathing suit) watching Madelyn play with this cute little girl when here comes the alpha. She grabbed her little friend and said "I need to talk to you". The nice one kept saying but we are playing, don't you want to play with us? She said no we need to have a "meeting". So I just said why don't all three of you play together? And she looked at me and said "I need to have a meeting with my friend" and I said well after your meeting maybe all three of you could play", she looked at me and said..."maybe". I have one word B-R-A-T. I kept looking around to see if I could spot which mother I thought she belonged to. Okay I am now being bratty when I say that my suspicions were right. There she was the alpha daughter talking to her barbie doll of a mother, you know the one in a string bikini, a body to match, and a Von Dutch hat shading her pretty little head from the sun. That was catty I know...but I am still mad. Well.....the story ends with the alpha winning. She accomplishes this by going to the above mentioned mother and saying something probably something along the lines of "mom, my friend nice blond girl won't stop playing with the red haired girl." Sure enough within a matter of moments both girls were summoned from the pool for a mandatory rest. And Madelyn is left alone again in the pool. A few minutes later they re-enter the pool but the alpha takes great measure in staying as far away from Madelyn as possible. I know this is only the beginning of things to come. I hope Madelyn will forever be known as one of the "nice" ones. My mother heart broke for for her today... I mean come on....who wouldn't want to be friends with this cute girl?
Saturday, July 30, 2011
Thursday, July 14, 2011