Thursday, August 09, 2007

It's the little things that count.....

"Happiness is the object and design of our existence; and will be the end thereof, if we pursue the path that leads to it;"
This was the quote that was used in a talk given at our youth conference. As I sat and pondered those words I started to feel somewhat guilty about my present state of being.....depressed. I have had the worst attitude about our current state of residence. Suddenly Dallan has been thrown in a house with unruly children and a depressed wife (I think the unruly children are a result of their mother's state of mind). So if happiness is the object and design of my existence why am I so unhappy here? The answer was all too obvious and made me feel even more guilty when the realization hit me that I was selfish. From the moment we moved here everything has been about me. How this has effected me. So today is a new day and with that comes the decision to "count my many blessings"......

The first is my husband. Last week a man from our ward was arrested on 9 counts of child pornography. He is 26 years old, has a wife and two small children. What a devastating situation for all involved. I think of that poor, poor woman and what she must be going through. What do I have to complain about? Dallan is a great father, he loves our Father in Heaven and all his decisions are based on that singular relationship, he is not only a good provider but as soon as he comes home he is non-stop help until it is time for bed. The best thing about him though is how much he loves me. How many women can honestly say if my husband could choose anyone in the world to be with I know he would still choose me. I know Dallan would choose me again even now that he sees all my many flaws.

Then there is Madelyn. Today she had to read the scripture in primary and so I went in to help her. As soon as she saw me she ran over hugged me and introduced me as her "most special mom" to anyone who would listen. She tells me almost everyday that I am the best mom, even after I have lost my patience with her. I am so thankful to be her mother and thankful she is so willing to love me so unconditionally.

Jackson! My sweet, sweet boy. I always wanted a baby boy and thought I would never see that happen. We call him the gentle giant. He is so masculine and big for his age but has the most tender of hearts. I love that every time I hold and cuddle him he pats my back with his chubby little hand. I love his sloppy kisses and toothy grin. I love when you say his name in a certain tone his response is "no, no"(I guess I say that too much!). And like Madelyn, I am so thankful he loves me enough to smile every time I walk into the room.

My family. I have such a good family on both sides. I am so thankful Madelyn and Jackson have people who love them so much. I love that my mom cries whenever she talks to Madelyn. I love that Madelyn calls my Nana, Hannah and asks to go to her house all the time. I love that my brother thinks my children are the greatest thing next to his children. I love that my grandparents want so much to hold Jackson each time we go home but can't because he is such a good boy (only if they are sitting down!). This time when we were home Jackson followed my grandpa everywhere wanting so much to be held by him. Every once in a while my ninety something grandpa would give in much to Jackson's delight. I just knew he was going to through his back out. I love Dallan's family and the fun times we have every time we get to see them. Madelyn still talks about the trips to Disneyland with Aunt Susan and Uncle Jeff.

Good friends. I can't say enough about the good friends I have made along the way. There are too many to name but each one I am so thankful for. Over the years they have changed my life, have made me a better person. They have laughed with me (and at me) and cried with me. I think back to each special memory and know there were many times I would have never made it through without their love and support. How lucky am I?

Indeed there are too many good things to list but I will just end with one more and that is life's miracles. They are certainly all around us and appear in both the biggest and smallest of ways. I have seen them in my own life and I have definitely seen them occur in the lives of those I love. Take the Carter Family. After years of trying and much heartbreak they were told they would not have any more babies. it was devastating news and both Dallan and I knew exactly what they were feeling. Soon after they started working on getting ready to adopt a baby and they were excited about it and we were excited for them. And wouldn't you know it Jen became pregnant. Truly a miracle. Yesterday the newest Carter (no name as of yet) was welcomed into this world by his mom, dad and big brother. Welcome Baby Carter!! We are so glad you made it safely here and we can't wait to meet you.
The more I ponder it the more certain I am that happiness is indeed the object and design of our existence and it is up to us to find the path that leads us in that direction. I am so thankful for the blessings in my life and for all the many, many things that make me so incredibly happy. I know all of them come from a source of immeasurable love and concern for my well-being and ultimate happiness. Thank goodness our Heavenly Father is able to look past our shortcomings and see the potential in all of us.

PS - For all those that occasionally peak, FYI you don't need have an account to post a comment (I think). I tried to set it up that way because I knew many of you would never get your own account. So Please feel free to comment away! It is fun for me to hear from you.


emma jo said...

Thank you Mandee...this is exactly what I needed today.
I sure love you guys!

Mandee said...

We love you too! I hope you come and visit your parents soon. Last time was entirely too short.

Suebee said...

Oh Mandee, it is so wonderful to count our blessings, thank you for reminding me of mine while reading yours.