Wednesday, October 17, 2007

I love my children!

So the other day was one of those days where everything was just a little "off". I wasn't in a great mood and neither was Madelyn. Jackson, well Jackson is always happy. Seriously, he is just the happiest, messiest, loves to get into everything kind of boy. Even when he poops all over everything you can't stay frusterated for very long because he is just so dang cute. Okay back to the original the end of that very long day, when everyone was in bed except me Madelyn woke up and of course wanted more milk. Perhaps I was feeling generous because I had been so grouchy that day so I got her another sippy of milk. I went in her room and laid down by her (she loves to snuggle at night). As we were lying there she rolled over and said mom I am sorry I was such a mean girl today, now feeling very guilty for my short temper I said Madelyn I am also sorry for being such a mean mom today. I said maybe tomorrow we can both be a little that a good idea? She said yes mom that is a good idea and maybe Heavenly Father and Jesus can help us be that a great idea mom? Hugging her trying not to cry I ensured her that that was the greatest idea I had ever heard.
Sometimes I think I miss so many of the great moments motherhood has to offer because I am too busy, or too distracted by something not nearly as important as Madelyn and Jackson. However, I am thankful for chubby hands that always pat my back when I hold Jackson. And I am thankful for the many times a day Madelyn tells me I am her very best mom. I love that they are the children Heavenly Father chose to send to our family. I look at them both with their red hair and adorable faces and can't imagine what my life would have been like without the two of them in it. I love looking back and seeing the many things that had to take place in order for me to be their mother and every time I do I marvel at God's ability to make even the most unlikely of events occur.
There are some days when everything that goes along with motherhood seems too much for me to handle and I just want to throw my hands up and say I quit! But today I am thankful. Thankful for the messy house, the loads of laundry that are just waiting to be cleaned, the half eaten peanut butter and jelly sandwich that is sitting on the table, and even for Barney tape Jackson loves. Because without all of that my life would be sad and lonely.


Vanderbeeks said...

When I read that other moms have days they struggle with, it makes me feel normal. I've been very tired since going through chemo and well, I can get grouchy. I realized while reading your blog that some of it just comes from life, not necessarily from battling cancer. Thank you for sharing Mandee!

Mandee said...

You DEFINATELY have a reason for being grouchy! Me...not so much, but it still happens! I love when as moms we are honest about how hard it is to be a mother, because as you said it makes you feel more like you are normal and less like the worst mother in the world!

emma jo said...

Beautifully put, thank you Mandee!

Jessica said...

Yeah, I had one of those days today--lots of crying in corners (I originally meant me, but really all four of us:)). It always turns around eventually, though. Thanks for sharing.