Wednesday, July 16, 2008

And the Award Goes to....


Me! That's right the award for worst mom in the neighborhood goes to yours truly! If you are wondering why I deserve such an award let me list all the many things I did or didn't do today that warrant such high praise from the other mothers on the block....
1. I was not aware this adorable boy pictured here knows how to operate door handles. There I was having a moment of peace in the basement when all of a sudden I hear a soft spoken voice calling my name. I wondered who could that be? As I bounded up the stairs it hit me.... the silence I had been enjoying wasn't due to this little boy playing quietly upstairs. No, the silence was due to the fact that he had let himself out the side door and was busy outside chatting up the neighbors. And not just any neighbor, no that would have made it too easy. It had to be none other than...the neighborhood's "Mother of the Year". Now, I don't say that sarcastically either. This neighbor's house is clean every time I go over, even when she isn't expecting company. She is the kind of mom that never gets angry and any time you hear her talking to her kids it is always in this calm and completely patient voice. So not only does she find my adorable boy outside alone, she gets to come into my house and into the one room I didn't want anyone to see today...the kitchen. Great work Mandee!
2. Madelyn....see my lack of parenting skills doesn't just apply to one child. No...I firmly believe in equality when it comes to my lack of parental involvment. First thing this morning Madelyn asks if she can go to Libby's house. Libby is a friend of mine that lives almost directly behind us. She has all boys and none of them are Madelyn's age. For whatever reason she loves going to Libby's house. Last night she asked Libby if she could come over today and Libby graciously said yes. So off Madelyn went to her friend (and mine) Libby's house. A few minutes later Libby called to chat and I said so what is Madelyn doing? Oh she is just laying on the couch watching TV. Why does she want to go to someone elses house to watch TV when she could do it here? Then I learn that not only is my daughter sprawled out on Libby's couch but that she has informed her she is hungry and that she would like a ham sandwich please (at least she said please). The girl just ate two eggs at home and now she is asking the neighbor for a ham sandwich as though she hasn't eaten in days? What is going on here? After having been served brunch and watching a little tv she decides she wants to go to Keagan's house. At least Keagan is her age. After swimming Madelyn decides it is time to go home. When she makes it back I ask her if she is ready for some lunch to which she tells me "No, I am not that hungry mom". I said well that must be because Libby made you a ham sandwich and she said no I am not hungry because I had some carrots and a peanut butter sandwich at Keagan's house. So let me get this straight Madelyn....you left here....went to the neighbors house....watched Elmo and had a ham sandwich....when you were done there you went to Keagan's.....upon your arrival you took a little dip in their pool, asked if Brenda (keagan's mom) could put some sunblock on you and thought it was okay to eat a few carrots and a peanut butter sandwich? Yes, mom that is right. Nice Mandee....REAL nice.
I could go on but I feel as though I have embarassed myself enough for one day. Now there is no need to thank me for making all of you feel extra good about the great jobs you are doing in raising your children. I am glad I could help you out. And remember when you are feeling insecure about how well you are doing as a mother....just come back and read this post and you will feel better instantly! Glad to be of service!

12 comments:

Suebee said...

Sorry Mandee, you are going to have to do better than that to win the award. That just sounds to me like your children were having an exceptionally good day and caught you off gaurd. Smart children are always harder to raise than average ones. I think you are raising them great! But hey it is nice to hear when other people's children are outsmarting them. Thanks for the laugh.

snbjork said...

I agree with suebee. You'll have to do much better than that!

The whole sandwich thing...well, I think almost every kid does that. In the last few weeks, I have had at least two different sets of kids (belonging to two different friends) on completely separate occasions do the same things!

One of my friends comes over twice a week and we trade babysitting while the other one runs in my neighborhood (we're training for a 5K in October). For the first three times she came, the second she left both her kids came in the kitchen and tried to convince me they were hungry. The first two times, I gave in. Then I just told them they could eat when they got home. The second time was when my visiting teachers came on Monday. One of them has three little redheaded girls--so cute. Anyway, she had one more appointment after me so I told her to just leave the kids with me so she could go with less hassle. Well, once again, not 10 seconds after their mom left, the two oldest girls came in the kitchen saying how hungry they were. They oldest said "I really only had a bite to eat this morning" and went into a long story about why she didn't get to finish her breakfast.

Anyway, sorry this is really long. But, I wanted to illustrate my point. Oh, and to add to that, Alton does that every time we go to his grandma's house! He could have had 17 bowls of macaroni at home right before we left. It doesn't matter. He always walks straight to the pantry and says "I ready eat now, peez!"

You're a great mom!

Mandee said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mandee said...

Thanks for the encouragment and more than that thank you for not judging me! I am always hesitant to write what really goes on in my house for fear of losing not only my self respect but perhaps even losing friends!!! Just teasing....sort of!

Tiffany Jones said...

This post just makes me feel more normal. The other day, I was happily typing away on the computer when Aaron came in to tell me that Annika had chocolate all over the place. I asked him how she got it figuring i knew the answer, he gave it to her. I ignored him and kept typing. Then Bekka comes in and tells me it is not only all over Annika, but the floor as well. It was time to investigate. Annika had moved a small cooler over to the counter where she knew she would find chocolate. She then went about eating every last one of them. They were wrapped in foil, she ate some of that too. Now that is a good mom Mandee! Do you feel any better?

Sherri said...

Don't worry I am always feeding the neightbor kids......I know some have fed Sully. Much more fun to eat others food then your own :) Don't worry and the perfect mom next door, she's not I am sure she has something we all do. "pefect" Mom's freak me out because it is just not possible and I worry about why they need to convey a falsehood... I better stop this soapbox your neighbor is probably just a nice person and I obviously have some things to work on!

Vanderbeeks Images said...

remember when our neighbor police officer brought my daughter home when she could not find anyone home at Grandma's 3 houses down. She told him no one was home anywhere and she is bawling, seriously bawling. Guess what 2 weeks ago his twin boys (age 4) came to my house and they were downstairs playing with Haeley and said that no one was at their house, both parents were at work and they couldn't find their grandma. After a while I called and their Dad, the police officer, was home and he was bright red over the whole deal. Those boys know how to tell a story. Don't worry too much, it might just come around for her too! Everyone is not always perfect all of the time!

Mandee said...

WOW! I feel better!!!

Neas Nuttiness said...

Hey - I can do better than you! One morning the doorbell rang. One of the kids (I think that all 9of them were home that day - probably had somebody elses kids too) answered it and yelled out "hey mom, come here for a minute." There at the door, was a HUGE guy -his arms stretched straight out in front of him, and dangling from the tips of his ginormas hands...was my 18th month old daughter. He smiled sheepishly and said "I don't think that you meant for this to go out with the trash! I kid you not - this really happened. Thank goodness we had great garbage men that year(actually this same sweet guy took one of our many many baby guinea pigs earlier in the year - that's another story! And yes Suzanne, one of these days I am going to gather up all my little scraps of paper, and write every thing down in one place.)

Mandee said...

Libby, that is DEFINATELY one for the record books!!

emma jo said...

I don't think any of us were ever told that parenthood would be this hard to us and so funny to everyone else. It's a good thing that you and your kids are adorable...besides, anyone with kids would totally understand it all.

Valerie said...

Hey, if we can't laugh about this stuff, then what's left? We just cry! =) So laugh! And be happy that your children aren't boring!