Lately I have really been struggling with the thought of there will be no more babies added to our little family. And I must admit I have had a "poor is me" attitude for quite some time over this realization. But I am thankful for today. Thankful for the reminder that I have had not one but two miracles in my life. Today we celebrate Madelyn. We celebrate the miracle of her birth and the miracle of how she came to be a part of our family. Not only is she beautiful but she is smart. I mean really smart. She loves to learn and she loves to do things the right way. She has a strong and faithful spirit, and tries hard to follow Heavenly Father's plan. She finds honor in making good choices and is a person who feels her Heavenly Father's love and presence strongly. She is talented. She is a miracle and I am thankful every day that I was chosen to be her mother. Here is an excerpt from a journal entry written right after we brought her home....
It was about 5:00 pm and I was just finishing up with work. Brother Lewis, our caseworker called me and said I have some news; you and Dallan have been selected by a birthmother. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. He said she lives in Florida and is due on August 17th. August 17th I asked? That was only 9 days away. I asked if he knew whether it was a boy or a girl and he said he didn’t know. We talked for a minute and he said I will keep you updated, but be prepared to go to Florida at any time. I hung up the phone and I couldn’t believe that had just happened. I left the office and on my way home I called your dad on the cell phone. I said I have some news and he said what? I said we are getting a baby and he said when and I said she is due August 17th and he said hurry up and get home. I raced home and as I walked into the house I shouted can you believe that you could be a dad in nine days? Your dad said what do you mean nine days and I said she is due in nine days and he said WHAT??? I thought you said she was due in November. Your dad is a planner and I don’t think he ever expected to have so little time to prepare for your arrival. I think we spent every night for the next week at the baby store, checking things out. Your dad wouldn’t let me buy anything so finally after going to this store day after day with his list I told him I wouldn’t go back until he promised I could buy you something! That night we bought the little car seat we would bring you home in. Your dad must have checked that thing over and over to make sure it was the safest one you could buy. Nothing but the best for you.
It was about 5:00 pm and I was just finishing up with work. Brother Lewis, our caseworker called me and said I have some news; you and Dallan have been selected by a birthmother. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. He said she lives in Florida and is due on August 17th. August 17th I asked? That was only 9 days away. I asked if he knew whether it was a boy or a girl and he said he didn’t know. We talked for a minute and he said I will keep you updated, but be prepared to go to Florida at any time. I hung up the phone and I couldn’t believe that had just happened. I left the office and on my way home I called your dad on the cell phone. I said I have some news and he said what? I said we are getting a baby and he said when and I said she is due August 17th and he said hurry up and get home. I raced home and as I walked into the house I shouted can you believe that you could be a dad in nine days? Your dad said what do you mean nine days and I said she is due in nine days and he said WHAT??? I thought you said she was due in November. Your dad is a planner and I don’t think he ever expected to have so little time to prepare for your arrival. I think we spent every night for the next week at the baby store, checking things out. Your dad wouldn’t let me buy anything so finally after going to this store day after day with his list I told him I wouldn’t go back until he promised I could buy you something! That night we bought the little car seat we would bring you home in. Your dad must have checked that thing over and over to make sure it was the safest one you could buy. Nothing but the best for you.
She (Stephanie) struggled with the decision but knew in her heart that she couldn’t take care of you the way you should be taken care of. She worked two jobs and knew that your birth father wouldn’t be around to help take care of you. She told us that she wanted a better life for you. That she wanted you to have a mother and a father. I want you to know that as she sat there and told us all of this she had tears streaming down her face. Madelyn she loves you, perhaps a little more than most mothers love their children because she had the courage to do something so tremendously hard. The easy thing would have been to have kept you, but she had seen the hard challenges your brothers had to face and she felt so bad about that. More than anything I want you to know how much she loves you.
Women having babies is perhaps the greatest miracle of life. You hear women tell of their babies coming into this world and how miraculous it is to have a life growing inside you. I worried that I would somehow feel cheated because I would never have that experience. When you were placed in my arms and I looked at your tiny face, I was so thankful I was blessed to have a different kind of miracle, one that most people don’t get to experience and a miracle that is every bit as priceless had I given birth to you myself.
That Madelyn is the story of your birth, of how you came to be the most important part of our little family. Your story is about love, miracles and about sacrifice. I hope one day you will look at your life and be amazed at how much hope and how much change you brought about all because you were born. We love you Madelyn and we thank our Father in Heaven each day that you are our daughter.
Happy birthday Madelyn...we are excited to see just how much good you will bring into this world.
8 comments:
Beautiful post.
So touching. Thank you for sharing. I love that the story tells of love, miracles and sacrifice-what a poignantly true statement. We love you guys and are so grateful for your beautiful daughter too! Happy Birthday!
Thanks Pam. Emily...we love and miss you guys too. It was you and little Haley that got me through the roughest part of that time.
Adoption is such a miracle. She is beautiful. But 9 days!! Holy smokes! Blessings come at such wonderful times!
Happy birthday! I remember sitting On pins and crochet hooks that week. I'm so happy for all of you!
Hmmm. 9 days...Not a lot of notice, I know. Sorry about that. Not an easy choice, especially when YOU ARE TOTALLY AVOIDING THE FACT THAT A DECISION MUST BE MADE BECAUSE THIS BABY WILL EVENTUALLY INSIST ON BEING BORN! Thanks for Everything.
Somehow, I missed this post. What a wonderful gift to your your daughter...the truth. Something that many mothers would tuck away and not share.
I've got tears running down my face. Tears of sorrow and tears of joy. In the depths of my heart, I know that the right decisions was made, but I still have that ache, from wanting her for myself. I would have gladly raised her with all the love that I have for her biological mother, aunts and uncles.
Thank you so very very much for being such a wonderful mother, to Madelyn and to Jackson.
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