Can you say.....

JUST KIDDING????

They made Dallan a counter offer yesterday and it was GOOD. But after MUCH talk we decided we were going to stick to our original plan and off to Arizona we would go. Dallan went to work this morning and called his boss and told him our decision wasn't based on money, that in fact should we stay here we were not looking for a raise but he was making the decision based on what was best for his future and also what was best for our family. His boss then told him would you be willing to meet with me and the Vice President of human resources tomorrow afternoon? Before you go we would like to give you an idea of the big picture so to speak and where you fit in as far as the future of this company is concerned. He then went on to tell him that he heard what Dallan said about not wanting any more compensation but that him and this other guy were going to make him an offer that would NOT be easy to say no to. So that is where we are as of right now. Dallan is meeting with them tomorrow at 3:30 and hopefully after that we will have a sure answer as to what we are going to do. Let me just add that I am about at a point where either an ulcer or a heart attack are a very real concern. For those that don't know this about me I HATE the unknown. This may come as a shock seeing as how I am not a planner, in fact I am the polar opposite of someone who likes to make plans. But not knowing what is happening scares the heck out of me and really just leaves me all out of sorts. So I guess it is to be continued for now.....

A New Chapter is about to Begin....

The decision has been made and it looks as though the Lott family will soon be residing in Phoenix, Arizona. We are excited amd worried all at the same time. Excited by the fact we are doing something new and worried that we won't be able to sell our home here in Rexburg. Dallan has the unpleasant task of giving BAF his two weeks notice today. He was so nervous about it I don't think either of us went to bed until after 1:00AM. I keep waiting for the phone to ring to see how it all played out. I don't envy him that's for sure. So unless his current job gives him an offer we can't refuse it looks like we will be calling the Grand Canyon state our new home. I would ask you to come and visit but I will wait until the summer months are over. I mean who would want to come and visit with it is 115 degrees outside? Heck, I don't even want to go when it is literally hot as _ _ _ _! Wish us luck and pray that we will be able to sell this house! I suppose I should end this post with a TO BE CONTINUED just in case something new unfolds today. I will keep everyone updated!

Pleasantly Surprised

WARNING: This post is long and at times very personal. I promise I will not be offended should you decide to skip it altogether. So with that being said....happy reading!

I think I am recovered now! Sorry there are no pictures at this time. We didn’t take our camera and we haven’t got the disk with all the pictures yet. Heather you will just have to wait for the dreaded proof that I actually went on this trek and more importantly that I survived. I am just going to go through it day by day and so if you get bored please just skip the parts you don’t want to read!

Thursday: We arrived at the church at 4:00 a.m. where we loaded the bus with our 5 gallon buckets and sleeping bags. Yep, you read that right…a 5 gallon bucket is all the room you got. When the saints left for Salt Lake they were only allowed 17 pounds (for an adult) and that included their blankets. Lucky for us they counted our sleeping gear separately. From there we traveled for over 6 hours. It was a long bus ride but the scenery was absolutely breathtaking. If you have never been to Wyoming, especially up near Jackson Hole, I strongly urge you to do it if you ever get a chance. It is gorgeous! With about two hours left to go we stopped for a break and that is when we learned who would be in our “families”. Dallan and I were assigned 3 girls and 2 boys, all of which turned out to be great. We finally arrived to Martin’s Cove late in the afternoon. We unloaded our buckets from the bus, put them into our handcarts and we started walking. We only walked about 5 miles that day. For me personally this was my best day. I am not sure if you know it but President Hinckley consecrated Martin’s Cove and it is considered sacred ground. That area is still government property and the missionaries won’t share any history with you unless you ask. To me it was amazing that the government allowed the church to come in, set up an amazing visitor’s center and show anyone around who asked. We had a missionary talk to us in Dan Jones Cove and as soon as that was over we made our way to the actual cove. What was amazing to me was the spirit I felt there. It was like there was a hush that fell over our group and I truly felt the sanctity of that place. For those that don’t know this is the area where the majority of the saints died as they made their way to Salt Lake. They came across the cove as they crossed the Sweetwater River. They were out of supplies and really could go on no further. They decided to stay at the cove until the relief wagons found them. They huddled together in one part of the cove and only ventured to the other side to bury their dead. By this time the ground was so frozen they could only dig shallow graves for their loved ones. It is said that this is when they could hear the packs of wolves waiting nearby to attack their dead once they were buried. After leaving the cove we traveled to the Sweetwater River where we saw the statues of the valley boys. When the saints realized they would have to cross the river again most simply sat down and started to cry. The river was filled with floating ice and these poor people were already so cold and sick. There were four young boys who (we were told there were also others who helped) took it upon themselves to carry all those saints across the freezing river. They crossed back and forth in that icy water until all 600 saints had made their away across. From there we trekked our way back to the bus, loaded our buckets back on the bus and headed to the Willie Handcart Center, where we would be camping the rest of the time.

What I learned: As I mentioned before, the time we spent at Martin’s Cove was the most spiritually rewarding part of the trek for me personally. As I was standing in Dan Jones’ Cove what struck me wasn’t the physical part of what I was doing and how hard it was going to be. What struck me was the question that filled my mind “Are you willing to do the hard things for My sake?” For me that was the purpose in me going on this trek. It was so I could be at a place where I would listen to what the Lord needed me to hear. As you all know we have been working on our adoption paperwork and it has actually been finished for quite sometime. That is all except our birthparent letter and picture pages. I still haven’t done them. I have been putting it off for weeks and weeks, not really knowing why. It is in that cove that I realized I haven’t done it because I didn’t want to deal with the emotional roller coaster that always comes once the paperwork is done and the waiting actually begins. It has been a long time since I have felt the need to repent as much as I did in those few moments we were there. I knew with such clarity that I had been in the wrong and was withholding blessings not only from myself but my entire family. I think all of us are asked at different points in our lives to do hard things in order to grow spiritually. When I look at what those pioneer saints accomplished I am inspired not only by their physical strength but more importantly by their incredible faith. They were willing to press forward and enduring the hard things in life in order to receive the blessings our Father in Heaven had in store for them. I needed that experience more than I could ever put into words. I should have had the faith to move forward in the process. I have experienced twice once with Madelyn and again with Jackson. I have seen what the Lord can accomplish when I do my part. And even after seeing the miracle of our children making their way to our family I still put off doing what I considered to be hard. I didn’t want to be bothered with it and therefore I refused to move forward. For that one experience I will forever be grateful I was asked to go on this trip.

Friday: LET THE LAUGHING AND MOCKING BEGIN! You know me and you know I am not known for my physical prowess. Not only that but I don’t like getting dirty and I certainly take a little pride in my appearance. If Thursday’s lesson was on repentance then Friday was all about me learning to leave the vanity of the world behind! I got up Friday morning at 5:30 am and put on my second set of pioneer clothing. And let me just say one thing about that…CAUTION WIDE LOAD AHEAD! Could clothing get any more unflattering? For heaven’s sake! I seriously looked about as wide as a bus! But I took it in stride and forged ahead! We had just started our 10 mile leg of our journey when we reached several mud holes in the road. We scouted out the narrowest part and the girls began to leap across. They all made it of course. Then it was my turn. Here was the plan…I would leap and Dallan would catch me. I leaped but there was no catch. I forgot to lift up my skirt and therefore ran out of room before I cleared the mud puddle. And yes, you guess right before I even knew what was happening I was on the ground in the mud! Half of my side was covered. I was filthy and worse yet I was humiliated. I had made a pact with one of my boys that I would not complain if he didn’t complain. You would be proud that I didn’t complain one time. Yes, there were some tears shed, more out of embarrassment than anything else but I never uttered a complaint. Poor Dallan felt so bad. He knows me and he really knows how vain I am. When I started crying my poor husband started to shed a tear on behalf of my muddy state as well. What a good guy I have. He tried so hard to wipe the mud off me, but there was so much of it, that it was completely impossible (on the way back to camp the kids were teasing that maybe we would still be able to see my outline in the mud). So we moved on….mud and all. We hadn’t made it very hard when my nose began to bleed. I am on a steroid to help reduce the swelling in my nose, so the doctor can assess what is going on with my sinuses. That morning I was a little sore and so I took a couple of Advil which is also a blood thinner. I didn’t know you shouldn’t take those two things together. My nose wouldn’t stop bleeding, and I am not just talking a little bit of blood, but large quantities of it. Poor Dallan was scared I was going to pass out. So he scooped me up and carried me over the mud to a dry patch of ground. There he laid me down and then proceeded to slightly argue with the missionary who was refusing to take me back to our truck in his little golf cart (he finally gave in when realized the bleeding was only getting worse and perhaps me walking back to the truck wasn’t such a great idea)! There I was mud all over my clothes, blood gushing from my nose and if that wasn’t humiliating enough they decided the best solution for the time being was to stick a tampon in my nose. Can I just say MORTIFIED??? My nose bled for about 35 to 40 minutes. When it first happened they told me to lean my head backwards which I did. BAD MOVE! Never lean your head back when you have a bloody nose. It doesn’t stop the bleeding; all it does is allow the blood to travel down your throat and into your stomach. I started getting sick to my stomach and before you know it I was gagging and spitting up large amounts (okay they seemed large to me!) of blood. And lucky for me this all happened before I got back to camp and before I made it to the golf cart. So yes, all the leaders and all the kids got to witness this very public display of me being disgraced. The whole thing was so not pretty! I was able to rest at camp and the bleeding finally stopped. All in all I missed about 4 miles of the trek. It would have been easy for me to give up but you would all be proud that I decided to keep walking. I made it back just in time for the women’s pull. This is when the missionaries come and call the men and boys off to fight in the Mormon battalion, and the girls take over pulling the handcart. They pull it all by themselves for about ¾ of a mile all which is uphill. At the top all the men are waiting. It was a sweet moment to see most of these young boys with tears in their eyes as they watched their “sisters” pulling the heavy handcarts all by themselves. That was another favorite moment of mine of the trek. From there we made our way to the Sweetwater and were able to cross. It is June and the water was still really cold. I couldn’t imagine how cold it would have been in November. So there you have it! I made it. I walked almost the entire thing and to be honest it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. It was hard and I was tired at the end of the day but I was proud that I did it and even more proud that I didn’t complain one time. Food never tasted so good and laying in my sleeping bag on the hard ground had never felt so comfortable. I slept like a baby! The experience taught me a lot. It made me appreciate the sacrifices that other people made for their faith. It made me appreciate the many comforts I enjoy on a daily basis. It gave me hope to see so many youth taking part in something other than what the world has to offer and actually having fun while doing it. I am so thankful Dallan and I got to experience it together and truthfully we will remember it as one of the most spiritually uplifting things we have ever done together as a couple. And the best part was….for three days I completely escaped the pressures of life! I didn’t think of job interviews and the possibility of us moving in the next few weeks. For three days we got a reprieve from the big decisions we are making right now and it was wonderful! So here is my advice….if you ever get a chance to go…DO IT! There you have it…I CAME…I SAW…I CONQUERED! And I am a better person for having gone through it.

Veni - Vidi - Vici

I CAME
I SAW
I CONQUERED....Stay tuned!

I knew there was a reason

It is my firm belief that there is reason and purpose as to why things happen a certain way in this life. And there was a reason as to why I was born in a time when pulling a hand cart wasn't something that would EVER be asked of me. Because the truth is I would not have made it. I would have been one of those pioneer women who gave up less than a mile into the trip. Better yet, I would have been one of those women who gave up as soon as she saw the mode of transportation she would be using. With all that said this will be me and Dallan in a matter of days! Who says God doesn't have a sense of humor? Everyone please start praying now.

Madelyn's Big Night!

Here are some pictures of Madelyn the night of her dance recital. I think it went pretty well other than her hitting one of her classmates for not doing being in the right place! I am still trying to talk Dallan into teaching me how to post video. If he ever does I will make sure and post some of her cute dance moves. Oh by the way, the costume is supposed to be a little "chick". They danced to Flip, Flop, Fly in that yellow get-up! The other one is an angel of course! And they danced to the music of Angels We Have Heard on High. That one was a disaster and yes, that was the one where she pushed/hit the little girl that was not doing what she was supposed to be doing. Check back later to see if I was able to post the video we took. But for now please just enjoy Madelyn in all of her cuteness!

Still laughing...

Now this is what I call

F-U-N-N-Y!

Thank you Lexi!

Unwrap A Smile

I layed in bed all night thinking about this post, trying to come up with the perfect title. Here were some of the contenders....

1. Please don't judge me.
2. Have you ever....
3. I am not an emotional eater...REALLY I'm not.
4. Who am I kidding.
5. I will get back on the wagon tomorrow.
6. I know I am going to hate myself in the morning.
7. It's all fun and games until....

So yesterday wasn't a great day. Dallan called about 2 hours after his interview. I ran to the phone (the only time I am willing to run), answered and asked okay what's the verdict. He said I have good news and I have bad news, which do you want first? You know as well as I do that when someone says that to you it is never good news just bad and really bad. But I took the bait and said give me the good first. He said I think I did really well in my interviews and I said okay that is good, so what's the bad? He said the bad is the people I interviewed with were idiots. To make a very sad and long story short this trip was a complete waste of a vacation day. He couldn't get over how unprofessional they were and how the company had paid for such a wasted trip. The guys he interviewed with were not even the guys who make the decisions as to who will be hired. He said not one of them asked him a question that wasn't written on a piece of paper and that one guy he spoke to chewed bubble gum through the entire interview. They told him nothing about the company and nothing about what he would be doing.

So we hung up...both of us dissapointed for lots of reasons. I called my mom. I cried a little bit (so much for my indifference huh?) and then I packed up the kids and headed to the store for a little retail therapy...my favorite kind. I picked up some flowers and window cleaner and on the way to the ckeckout counter I saw the stand stacked with Little Debbie snack cakes in varying kinds. Madelyn mentioned they looked yummy and that was all the excuse i needed...before she could say "Can we get some?", I had thrown two boxes in our cart. Oh, and did I mention the king size box of milk duds I picked up while standing in line (thank you Lexi)?

We made it home without me tearing in to the boxes of the before mentioned snack cakes. I made it the rest of the day without eating a single one and later that evening as I walked past them I even congratulated myself for having self control. So the kids went to bed and I stayed up to catch up on my DVR events and while laying there I thought I will just have one...from each box. Oh who knew processed sugar could taste so good...I will just have one more...from box A. Before I knew it box A had only three little snack cakes left. I had almost eaten the entire box in the span of about 2 hours. I refuse to mention what kind of snack cake it actually was because well I do have some sense of pride. So much for self control.

Arizona Here We Come....

Just Teasing! Actually, Dallan's interview is tomorrow and I am feeling a little nervous about it. When I think about moving again and whether or not I really want to live in a place that is hotter than Haites (or is it Hades, the actual name for the god of the dead) I just look outside and remember where I am posting from....Rexburg, Idaho and then I remember....anywhere even Hades (use whichever spelling you prefer) is better than here! So positive vibes for the Lott family please and I will keep you posted. And further more I am trying my best to remain indifferent to this job interview so I don't loose it when it all goes south. In that case...send postive vibes or don't...it really makes no difference to me!

I Don't Say It Enough!

Happy Mother's Day to all of you! Each of you in some way has helped me to become a better person and therefore a better mom, so thank you for being there, especially when it looked as if motherhood would never happen for us. I love you more for that then you will ever know. With that being said.....I woke up this morning long after the kids had gotten up (thank you Dallan), he had bathed them, ironed their clothes for church, and was getting ready to feed them. He remembered to get cards and of course yummy treats. As I was in the bathroom blow drying my hair I realized that these things occur on a regular basis. Every Saturday he gets up with the kids and lets me sleep, even though all week he has to get up earlier than me. Cooking meals and cleaning the kitchen isn't something that happens once a year, it happens all the time and taking care of the kids so I can have a break happens every day when he comes home from work. It was at that moment when I realized just how lucky I am. Lucky to have a husband who loves me and a husband who adores his children. And on this Mother's Day I am lucky to realize that his love and appreciation doesn't come around once a year but every day.

JUST FOR HEATHER.....

This is my formal apology to my friend Heather! I am sorry Heather I have not been around to amuse you. I truly feel horrible about this. Sometimes at night I just stare at the ceiling trying to come up with something to write about. My lack of creativity eats at me, it truly does. With that said....I am on vacation, okay it really is NOT a vacation when you are with your children without your spouse around to help out. But we are in Arizona (100 degree weather is another reason it is NOT a vacation) for my grandparents 60th wedding anniversary. We will be here until May 6th. With that being said there probably won't be many posts until that time. I am sorry to dissapoint you, especially you Heather. But let me say I am so glad you find me so interesting, that you check this site frequently. Let me assure you that knowing that does much for my ego!

On a different note I will fill you in on one little tidbit of information....Dallan has a job interview in Arizona on May 16th. Not sure what this means (if it means anything at all), but I thought I would update you on what is happening in our little family. Other than that things are pretty much the same.

Please check back in with me soon, I promise not to disappear for too long!

One of those moments...

Did you not LOVE Elder Ballard's talk in General Conference? One of the things he said that I just loved was..."recognize that the joy of motherhood comes in moments. There will be hard times and frustrating times. But amid the challenges, there are shining moments of joy and satisfaction". A couple of months ago on Fast Sunday both Dallan and I got up and shared our testimonies. Madelyn really wanted to go and kept asking when it was her turn. We explained that she could go up and share her testimony when she was able to do it on her own. For the last several weeks during family home evening she has practiced and today she wanted to go up. We kept asking her are you sure you want to? You more than likely heard the same counsel we did as far as allowing children to go and share their testimony during sacrament and for that reason we were hesitant. But she was relentless and finally I said okay. We made our way to the front, found a seat and waiting for our turn. She leaned over and said mom I don't see dad. I said he is right there. When she finally found him she waved and I am not talking some little discreet wave but instead raised her hand as high as she could. At that moment I thought this is not going to be good. I kept whispering in her ear are you sure you aren't scared to get up in front of all these people? Her reply...No. And then it was...Remember you have to do it all by yourself...her reply....I know mom, I don't need your help. When it was almost our turn she said mom I need you to go up there with me, I said okay but I am not going to tell you what to say, she said Mom, I don't need your help, I just need you to stand up there with me. So the last girl finished and she looked at me and said it is our turn. We walked up there and I helped her get on the little chair, I adjusted the microphone and then knelt down, so no one could see me. This is what she said...."I would like to tell my testimony. I know Jesus loves me. I know the church is true. I know President Monson is our new prophet. In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen". Then she got off the stool and quietly sat down on the chair behind me until I was done. I was so proud of her. Proud that she was confident enough to stand up there in front of so many people and proud she worked hard for something she wanted to do. For me it was one of those moments Elder Ballard spoke about. On a daily basis I wonder if what I am doing is enough. Are they learning the things they need to? Do any of the things I tell them sink in? And to be honest most days I feel as though I have fallen short in my role as their mother. But today....today was a shining moment that filled my heart with joy and love for this beautiful little girl whom I get to call my daughter.

Easter with the Lott Family

New Church Clothes

Searching for Eggs

Yummy Treats

I Never Thought This Day Would Come!

Today is Saturday and today marks the day this adorable boy turns eighteen months old. If you still aren't seeing the significance let me spell it out....TOMORROW HE GETS TO GO TO NURSERY!! Enough said! Let the rejoicing begin!

Friends

So this past Friday night our friends Clark and Emily, along with their adorable girls came to see us. Emily actually came up this summer and this picture was taken then, why didn't I get my camera out when they were here this time? Shame on me! But they are the kind of friends that when you get together it is as if no time had passed. It was like we were still living on Hickory Hall Lane in Charleston, South Carolina and per our usual arrangement we were having dinner with one another. The only difference was there were a lot more Scharman's and a couple more Lott's running around the house. We talked and laughed and reminisced about people we knew and fun times we had together. Thinking about that this morning made me so grateful for the many friends I have. Like Clark and Emily when I see or talk to them it is as if I am still living close by and we are having our usual daily chat. Over the years I have meet some truly remarkable people. People who have changed my life and helped to navigate me through some really rough patches. I can't imagine my life without you.

ZERO, ZIP, NADA.....

I wanted desperately to post something new. You know something witty and clever that would make you laugh out loud....NOTHING. Then I thought perhaps I would enlighten you with something intellectually stimulating...AGAIN...NOTHING! Then it hit me, I have got nothing to say. Hopefully in the not too distant future I will find something of important to say or at the very least something frivolous and funny. Until then.....please don't give up on me all together.

I need help!

I am finally trying to load up the ipod Dallan got me for Christmas and that is where you come in. What are some songs I should definately put on there? For those that run/exercise what songs are a must for you? For everyone else what are some of your favorites? I love music but sometimes forget names. Thanks in advance!

Excuse me...what did you say?

What is the best response when your four year old daughter decides it is appropriate during family prayer to "Please bless Mommy that her tummy will get smaller"? Now of course I said thank you, because it was nice that she remembered me. However, with that being said I think my feelings are somewhat hurt. Sometimes children are just a little too honest. I guess I will have to start sucking it in and not just in public places like before but now even when I am at home, what a sad, sad day!

Snowed In With Nothing To Do!

See what happens when three people are cooped up in the house for too long?

Should I Be Worried?

Madelyn came in the office asking if I could please help gag her captives. Once that was finished she wanted me to tie up their hands. She was adament that I tie them behind their backs. She tried forcing their hands behind their backs (poor girls) so, I had to explain to her that her "prisoners" weren't being
noncompliant, it was just something that was impossible for them to do. She wasn't happy about this but relented and asked if I could tie them up in the front. After seeing what she was capable of, I happily obliged.