It's Almost Official....

That we are soon to be crazy in debt! I know... sounds smart given the current economic conditions we are facing but I don't think I ever said we were all that smart...so don't be too hard on us. Here is a quick update...the house in Idaho is still on the market and currently listed for less than what we bought it for, so if you know anyone who is moving to Rexburg and is in need of a great looking house, send them our way please. According to our realtor there have been several people who absolutely LOVE it but who unfortunately can't sell their current home...FYI....QUIT LOOKIN IF YOU AINT REALLY BUYING! I mean don't they realize all they are accomplishing by coming to see our lovely home is getting my hopes up? So now we are in the market for some quality renters. Well that is and isn't true depending on the day. There are days when Dallan will say yeah let's rent it out and as soon as I get a property manager on the phone he changes his mind. Perhaps when we are shelling out money for TWO mortgages he will quickly make up his mind. Which leads me to my next piece of news....we are THIS close to purchasing another home in the lovely city of Buckeye, Arizona. I know Buckeye...sounds great right? But I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE the housing community we found. Since moving here we have really prayed we would find the right house and therefore the ward we were meant to be a part of. And this feels right. I will soon have pictures for you so keep checking. I love that it doesn't look like a typical Arizona house. I love that it is a ranch (no stairs!!). I LOVE that it has a gas range and granite counter tops. I LOVE that the carpet feels like clouds under my feet and even though it isn't the color I would have chosen, it is one I can live with until I can afford to change it. I LOVE that my bathroom has a garden tub and his and her sinks. I LOVE that I can see Madelyn's school from the corner of our road. And I LOVE that when I walked into it I can picture our furniture in each of the rooms. I LOVE that it isn't too big and that it isn't too small. Like Goldilocks...this one is JUST right. So barring anything popping up during the inspection it looks like our next address will be something, something Evergreen Street, Buckeye, Arizona. Anyone up for a visit?

MIA....

Sorry there has been nothing new in a while. We are still here....still alive...and yes, we are still hot (as in temperature)! After crying every day for the first several days of school, Madelyn has finally adjusted (somewhat) to her new schedule and seems to be liking kindergarten a little better. Jackson is still Jackson and I think both my grandparents as well as me and Jackson will be glad when we have our own space to terrorize. There is nothing worse than watching your almost two year old demolish someone else's things. We have been an offer on another home here and will know soon whether or not it was accepted. In the meantime we will be checking out a few others, which means hopefully we will be in our new home shortly. No that doesn't mean we sold our house in Idaho, all it means is that we will be in debt up to our eyeballs until we can say goodbye to our Rexburg abode. For now we will just refer to it as our summer home. Other than that all is well. Dallan is starting to adapt to his new job and I am happy to report he is liking it better than he did the first week (YIPPEEE). Our new car is still in the shop and will be for at least another 3 weeks. The total damage was somewhere in the 10,000 range (thank goodness for insurance). I promise I will be better at posting and commenting in the future. But please know how much I love and miss all of you and do think about you all the time. Thanks for all your love and support.

To Laugh or to Cry...

That is definately the question of the day! Last night I was crying and today isn't looking much better. I wish I was one of those people who could just laugh off the disasters of life, but that doesn't seem to be the way I work. So here are the troubles since leaving Rexburg (who knew Rexburg would be looking so good right about now). Just an FYI this is a pity post and I wouldn't be offended if you didn't want to go any further!

1. On the way down to Arizona we were hit by another car. Not much damage but enough to have to shell out a $500 deductible to get the Sequoia fixed.

2. Not having our own space. We love staying at my grandparents and they could not be any more wonderful to us if they tried. But I miss my things...I miss seeing Dallan every day...I miss my DVR....I miss my own bed and pillows.

3. Dallan's new company and the scare they gave us just one day after arriving in Arizona. They in a round about sort of way told Dallan if they had known about certain health issues they would have been a little more thoughtful in hiring him (just so you know he is okay and perfectly capable of working) but that was nice to hear after quitting a company who LOVED him and moving your entire family to a new state. In the end they decided it wasn't that big of a deal and he was cleared to start work.

4. The sea of cubicles that meet Dallan on the third day of work. Why is that to bad you ask? Well let me just quote Dallan (something he said as we were looking for jobs after getting out of the Navy) I don't want to go to a company where I will just be one of many. I don't think the sea of cubicles did much to boost his confidence that this was the right career choice. We are crossing our fingers though that his outlook will improve...and SOON!

5. The Monsoon Season. August in Arizona is referred to as the "monsoon season". This is when we get the most rain (laughing even as I type that). But we do get beautiful lightning storms and strong winds. Well when Dallan was getting ready to go to his grandparents I told him please don't take the car out there (we just bought a brand new nissan Maxima...silver/charcoal gray in color...black leather seats....sun roof...bose stereo system....a very nice car....at a very nice price). Well he explained he didn't want me to take the car because that meant the kids riding in it and they could mess it up. I then reminded him that his grandparents lived on a farm where it was dirty and dusty and that they had no garage or safe place to park it. he insisted it would b okay. Well last night I got a call at about midnight. There was a storm out in Buckeye and the wind caused a branch to break loose from one of the trees. Simply said our new car is now smashed. It blew out the back window, dented both the top and back end of the car and completely scratched one side of it. I bet the option of allowing the kids to ride in the car are looking pretty resonable to him right now. So now I am sure we are looking at another deductable and who knows whether or not our car will ever be the same.

6. No one has bought our house and no one is even calling to look at it. Jessica...Emily....I now know how you felt. It is so frustrating. We have lowered the price and have now already lost $25,000. How much more are we going to have to lose? Not sure but it's not looking good.

So there you have it. Arizona hasn't been too kind to this Lott Family. We are hoping and praying that things turn around for us soon...and I mean VERY soon!

We Have Arrived...

Yes, we made it safe and relatively sound. There was one small accident right outside of Orem, but luckily no one was hurt and our car okay to keep driving. We finally pulled into the Valley of the Sun (and let me tell you there has never been a more appropriate name for a state than that one) on Thursday evening. Saturday morning Dallan's brother was married and on the way to the truck after taking pictures in the blazing sun Madelyn started crying explaining how she just couldn't make it any further...I felt exactly the same way but since I am not five years old, I thought crying would be just down right embarassing so I settled for a "It's not so bad Madelyn"...what a big fat lie that was! I am not kidding you it is M-I-S-E-R-A-B-L-E right now. Everyone keeps telling us we will get used to it again but I am really not buying into that notion right now. However, we have survived thus far! It was Dallan's first day of work today and Madelyn will start school tomorrow. We are now just praying our house sells quickly so we can all be together (Emily I am now feeling your pain and I echo your sentiments when I say...WHAT IS WRONG WITH MY HOUSE???). So any prayers on our behalf will certainly be appreciated. I would extend an invitation to come and visit us but there are a few problems with that....1. Even though I have never been to hell I am assuming that this is EXACTLY what it would feel like. and 2. We have no place for your to stay even if the extreme heat didn't scare you away. But when we finally do sale our home and the temperatures dip below three digits you are all welcome to come and see us! Until then I will just hole up here inside my grandparents house and wait until November to come out.

Five Already???

That was then....














.......This is now









Happy Birthday Madelyn!!! It doesn't seem like it was five years ago that your dad and I got a phone call that changed our lives forever. As your dad and I drove to Florida to meet you, I kept thinking how was it possible that my baby girl has entered this world and I don't even know what she looks like. I think the night before I meet you was perhaps the longest night of my life. Morning couldn't come fast enough and when it finally did your dad and I knelt down once again and pleaded with our Heavenly Father that perhaps this time our dream of becoming parents would come true. And then....there you were in all your cuteness. I couldn't take my eyes off of you and your dad....well your dad couldn't stop crying. We loved you from the moment we laid eyes on you. Then the question....what was your name going to be? Madelyn Elizabeth Lott. I am so thankful your birth mom got to share in that decision and I am thankful a part of your name is also a part of hers. Speaking of Stephanie...I can't talk about you without thinking about her. What an amazing "first mom" you had. Your dad and I love her so much and words could never adequately express the gratitude we feel for her and for the sacrifice she had to make.





Since that day you have filled our home with such incredible love and happiness. There are moments when I look into your face and feel just overwhelming joy that I was chosen to be your mother. So on your 5th birthday I thought I would share with you some of the reasons why I love you so much.....





1. You have a kind heart. You hate to see other people sad or upset andI love the way you come to other peoples defense when they are in trouble.


2. You tell good jokes! I love that you laugh at your own jokes!


3. You love to tease your dad. This is something he has taught you how to do and it is something you have learned VERY well.


4. You are smart. I love to read books and it makes me so happy that you love books as much as I do.


5. You are confident. Whether it is dancing or sharing your testimony in church, you aren't afraid to get up in front of people and I love that about you.


6. I love to hear you pray.


7. You are not afraid to try new things. When you wanted to take your training wheels off your bike you bugged and bugged dad until he did it. You practiced every day until you could do it. Even after falling once or twice you didn't give up. We just put a band-aid on your knee and you got right back on. I love that about you.


8. I love that you try very hard to always do what is right.


9. I love that you still like to cuddle with me.


10. You have the best imagination. I could listen to you pretend play all day long and I love that you get mad when I ask you who you are talking to. You always tell me in that frustrated tone...mom I am not talking to you!





So once again...Happy Birthday Madelyn, we love you baby girl.

Jackson....

One thing is for certain....he could NEVER be mistaken for a girl!





Always ready to eat....
even if it happens
to be his toes.

Caution Spoilers....

My Personal Book Review.....

I love to read. I love when you pick up a book and within pages you are transported to another place in time. I love the urgency I feel in getting to that final page so much so that I will forgo eating and sleeping, and when the end does come it saddens me to know that the characters I have come to know and love will no longer be there to entertain me. I anticipated the final book in this series. I was one of those slightly obsessed fans who stood in line at midnight waiting for my copy. I drove home, settled in my favorite chair and tore into the pages. All I can say is how completely disappointed I am. I just keep asking myself WHAT WAS SHE THINKING??? Why did everything have to be tied up so perfectly? Where was the angst? Here are just a few of the problems I had with Breaking Dawn....

1. In the end Bella didn't have to give up anything. She gets Edward, she gets Edward's baby, she gets to keep her family, she gets to keep Jacob around, she gets a sweet little cottage in the woods, blah, blah, blah. Was there anything that didn't come easily to her in this book?

2. Jake imprinting on Bella's baby. That was just wrong on so many levels. But aside from the ick factor this means Bella never has to give up Jake and Jake doesn't have to give up Bella. So if he can't have her he will just take her daughter instead. Does anyone else have a problem with this???

3. The fear and repulsion she felt when she imaged being a newborn vampire was all for naught. She goes hunting...smells human blood...decides the best thing to do is to just to hold her nose and make a run for it.

4. Bella never wanted to become a mother because of her own dysfunctional family. Yet, when she finds out she is pregnant there is never a moment of panic or dread at the thought of impending motherhood. To me this was implausible when considering Bella's character.

5. There was no pain or even a little regret in giving up her old human life. Actually I take that back she didn't want to give up her human life right away...not because that meant giving up her own mother and father. Not because it meant giving up Jacob or her other friends. No, she didn't want to leave the human world because she enjoyed having sex. And even that turned out to be better as a vampire because well as a vampire you never have to stop having sex in order to eat, sleep, go to the bathroom, or any of those other human annoyances.

6. I understand the sacrifces a woman makes in giving birth but who else had a hard time reading her reaction to drinking blood before she became a vampire? Was she sickened at the thought of drinking it...no. In fact after her first gulp she wanted more. It tasted good to her. Give me a break!!!

7. Even if I could get over all my other complaints one fact would still remain....the book was just poorly written. I can't count the number of times Edward "rolled" his eyes or "chuckled". Seriously there were so many repetitive words that by the end of the book I wanted desperately to send Miss Meyers a thesaurus. And 700 pages??? I think 200 or possibly 300 would have been more than sufficient.

I could go on and on about all the other things I hated about this book. Their baby's name being one of them! But I will stop. I will just wrap this post up by saying once again how dissapointed I am. This is one book I will never read again. Sad, sad, sad!

One final note and I promise I am done..."Did Edward really say "Goodbye, Jacob, my brother... my son."? " Again, what in the heck was Stephanie Meyers thinking???

I Have Been Tagged.....

Sorry folks not too interesting but here it is anyway.....

Ten years ago…

Let’s see that would make me 29….okay only in my dreams! That would have been when I was what 22?

Getting my life back in order. Believe it or not that is about all I was doing ten years ago. After many years of making poor choices and keeping a far distance from all things church, I had finally found (better yet, they found me) some wonderful people who helped me get back on my feet and back into a church building. A somewhat impossible task at the time. Little did I know several months later I would be preparing to go on a mission.

Five things on today’s “to do” list

I don’t make lists! But if I did make lists, today mine would have completely consisted of cleaning my house. Tomorrow is the day the realtors walk through our house and give feedback on what we need to do to sale it. Someone going through my house without me being there and getting critiqued on what my house should look like….two things that make me sick to my stomach.

Five snacks I enjoy

Brownies
Kettle Chips
Popcorn (preferable caramel, and not the hard stuff either…I love the gooey kind)
Chips and Salsa or Chips and guacamole (I’m talking about good homemade salsa)
Peanut M&M's
(I could list healthy stuff but what fun is that?)

Five things I would do if I was a millionaire…

Adopt lots of babies
Build my dream house and have it professionally decorated
Help out my family and friends
Plan and pay for the best girls week anyone has every seen. All of you would be invited of course
And then I would do some responsible things such as pay off our bills, put money away for retirement, college funds, etc, etc. But if I am going to dream…I just want to dream of the fun stuff and not about bills or long distance relatives who suddenly love me and want my money.

Five places I have lived…

Arizona
Maryland/Washington DC
South Carolina
Washington State
Idaho

The Girl Who Cried Wolf

We're moving...No, we aren't...yes, we are....now we're not....NO, NO really we are and we mean it this time. I feel like the girl who cried wolf. Perhaps you won't even believe us after so many false starts. But truly this is for real this time. Dallan gave his two/three week notice yesterday. There was no negotiating this time around, the deed is done so to speak. What changed our minds?? Last week Dallan called Palo Verde and explained we would be staying, they asked why, and he told them Basic had given him a raise in order to keep him here. They asked what we needed in order to make the move, Dallan gave them a number, Palo Verde thought it over and the next day they called and matched the offer Basic had given him. We took the weekend and seriously thought and prayed as to what decision would be best for our family and in the end we felt like we could take either job and be okay. Dallan has wanted to go into the nuclear industry since he got out of the Navy and now that he has been given a chance to try it out, we decided to throw caution or money to the wind and make the move. I say money because we are not sure how much we are going to have to lose in order to sell our home here. So please say a little prayer that it won't take years for us to get rid of this house! If anyone is interested in roasting yourself in the hot sun you are always welcome to come and visit. By the way the picture I posted makes me laugh because the day we decided to take the job I had run to the store for something and when I got back Dallan had changed everyone into their Arizona State attire.

And the Award Goes to....

Me! That's right the award for worst mom in the neighborhood goes to yours truly! If you are wondering why I deserve such an award let me list all the many things I did or didn't do today that warrant such high praise from the other mothers on the block....

1. I was not aware this adorable boy pictured here knows how to operate door handles. There I was having a moment of peace in the basement when all of a sudden I hear a soft spoken voice calling my name. I wondered who could that be? As I bounded up the stairs it hit me.... the silence I had been enjoying wasn't due to this little boy playing quietly upstairs. No, the silence was due to the fact that he had let himself out the side door and was busy outside chatting up the neighbors. And not just any neighbor, no that would have made it too easy. It had to be none other than...the neighborhood's "Mother of the Year". Now, I don't say that sarcastically either. This neighbor's house is clean every time I go over, even when she isn't expecting company. She is the kind of mom that never gets angry and any time you hear her talking to her kids it is always in this calm and completely patient voice. So not only does she find my adorable boy outside alone, she gets to come into my house and into the one room I didn't want anyone to see today...the kitchen. Great work Mandee!

2. Madelyn....see my lack of parenting skills doesn't just apply to one child. No...I firmly believe in equality when it comes to my lack of parental involvment. First thing this morning Madelyn asks if she can go to Libby's house. Libby is a friend of mine that lives almost directly behind us. She has all boys and none of them are Madelyn's age. For whatever reason she loves going to Libby's house. Last night she asked Libby if she could come over today and Libby graciously said yes. So off Madelyn went to her friend (and mine) Libby's house. A few minutes later Libby called to chat and I said so what is Madelyn doing? Oh she is just laying on the couch watching TV. Why does she want to go to someone elses house to watch TV when she could do it here? Then I learn that not only is my daughter sprawled out on Libby's couch but that she has informed her she is hungry and that she would like a ham sandwich please (at least she said please). The girl just ate two eggs at home and now she is asking the neighbor for a ham sandwich as though she hasn't eaten in days? What is going on here? After having been served brunch and watching a little tv she decides she wants to go to Keagan's house. At least Keagan is her age. After swimming Madelyn decides it is time to go home. When she makes it back I ask her if she is ready for some lunch to which she tells me "No, I am not that hungry mom". I said well that must be because Libby made you a ham sandwich and she said no I am not hungry because I had some carrots and a peanut butter sandwich at Keagan's house. So let me get this straight Madelyn....you left here....went to the neighbors house....watched Elmo and had a ham sandwich....when you were done there you went to Keagan's.....upon your arrival you took a little dip in their pool, asked if Brenda (keagan's mom) could put some sunblock on you and thought it was okay to eat a few carrots and a peanut butter sandwich? Yes, mom that is right. Nice Mandee....REAL nice.

I could go on but I feel as though I have embarassed myself enough for one day. Now there is no need to thank me for making all of you feel extra good about the great jobs you are doing in raising your children. I am glad I could help you out. And remember when you are feeling insecure about how well you are doing as a mother....just come back and read this post and you will feel better instantly! Glad to be of service!

Everyone say POTATO!

Well it is official....we are now permenant residents of the great state of Idaho (at least for the time being). It was a tough decision but in the end the offer Basic American Foods gave Dallan was just too good to pass up. It is strange how things work. I wanted more than anything to move back closer to our families but for whatever reason it just didn't ever feel exactly right. I guess to me it is ironic that the one place I have been wanting so desperately to depart from over the last year turned out to be the place I ended up feeling the best about when the time finally came to make a decision. I am sad we are not going to be living near my family. I love them and I love the way they love, love, love our kids. That is the reason it makes me sad. My children adore their extended family and it would have been so much fun to raise them close to all the people who love them so much. But for some reason we are supposed to be here, at least for right now. And like my mom told me tonight....don't look back just be happy with the decision you guys made. So for what it's worth...Mom, Hannah, Beba, Aunt Jana, Aunt Susi and Uncle D(and the rest of the clan) we are really sorry!

Can you say.....

JUST KIDDING????

They made Dallan a counter offer yesterday and it was GOOD. But after MUCH talk we decided we were going to stick to our original plan and off to Arizona we would go. Dallan went to work this morning and called his boss and told him our decision wasn't based on money, that in fact should we stay here we were not looking for a raise but he was making the decision based on what was best for his future and also what was best for our family. His boss then told him would you be willing to meet with me and the Vice President of human resources tomorrow afternoon? Before you go we would like to give you an idea of the big picture so to speak and where you fit in as far as the future of this company is concerned. He then went on to tell him that he heard what Dallan said about not wanting any more compensation but that him and this other guy were going to make him an offer that would NOT be easy to say no to. So that is where we are as of right now. Dallan is meeting with them tomorrow at 3:30 and hopefully after that we will have a sure answer as to what we are going to do. Let me just add that I am about at a point where either an ulcer or a heart attack are a very real concern. For those that don't know this about me I HATE the unknown. This may come as a shock seeing as how I am not a planner, in fact I am the polar opposite of someone who likes to make plans. But not knowing what is happening scares the heck out of me and really just leaves me all out of sorts. So I guess it is to be continued for now.....

A New Chapter is about to Begin....

The decision has been made and it looks as though the Lott family will soon be residing in Phoenix, Arizona. We are excited amd worried all at the same time. Excited by the fact we are doing something new and worried that we won't be able to sell our home here in Rexburg. Dallan has the unpleasant task of giving BAF his two weeks notice today. He was so nervous about it I don't think either of us went to bed until after 1:00AM. I keep waiting for the phone to ring to see how it all played out. I don't envy him that's for sure. So unless his current job gives him an offer we can't refuse it looks like we will be calling the Grand Canyon state our new home. I would ask you to come and visit but I will wait until the summer months are over. I mean who would want to come and visit with it is 115 degrees outside? Heck, I don't even want to go when it is literally hot as _ _ _ _! Wish us luck and pray that we will be able to sell this house! I suppose I should end this post with a TO BE CONTINUED just in case something new unfolds today. I will keep everyone updated!

Pleasantly Surprised

WARNING: This post is long and at times very personal. I promise I will not be offended should you decide to skip it altogether. So with that being said....happy reading!

I think I am recovered now! Sorry there are no pictures at this time. We didn’t take our camera and we haven’t got the disk with all the pictures yet. Heather you will just have to wait for the dreaded proof that I actually went on this trek and more importantly that I survived. I am just going to go through it day by day and so if you get bored please just skip the parts you don’t want to read!

Thursday: We arrived at the church at 4:00 a.m. where we loaded the bus with our 5 gallon buckets and sleeping bags. Yep, you read that right…a 5 gallon bucket is all the room you got. When the saints left for Salt Lake they were only allowed 17 pounds (for an adult) and that included their blankets. Lucky for us they counted our sleeping gear separately. From there we traveled for over 6 hours. It was a long bus ride but the scenery was absolutely breathtaking. If you have never been to Wyoming, especially up near Jackson Hole, I strongly urge you to do it if you ever get a chance. It is gorgeous! With about two hours left to go we stopped for a break and that is when we learned who would be in our “families”. Dallan and I were assigned 3 girls and 2 boys, all of which turned out to be great. We finally arrived to Martin’s Cove late in the afternoon. We unloaded our buckets from the bus, put them into our handcarts and we started walking. We only walked about 5 miles that day. For me personally this was my best day. I am not sure if you know it but President Hinckley consecrated Martin’s Cove and it is considered sacred ground. That area is still government property and the missionaries won’t share any history with you unless you ask. To me it was amazing that the government allowed the church to come in, set up an amazing visitor’s center and show anyone around who asked. We had a missionary talk to us in Dan Jones Cove and as soon as that was over we made our way to the actual cove. What was amazing to me was the spirit I felt there. It was like there was a hush that fell over our group and I truly felt the sanctity of that place. For those that don’t know this is the area where the majority of the saints died as they made their way to Salt Lake. They came across the cove as they crossed the Sweetwater River. They were out of supplies and really could go on no further. They decided to stay at the cove until the relief wagons found them. They huddled together in one part of the cove and only ventured to the other side to bury their dead. By this time the ground was so frozen they could only dig shallow graves for their loved ones. It is said that this is when they could hear the packs of wolves waiting nearby to attack their dead once they were buried. After leaving the cove we traveled to the Sweetwater River where we saw the statues of the valley boys. When the saints realized they would have to cross the river again most simply sat down and started to cry. The river was filled with floating ice and these poor people were already so cold and sick. There were four young boys who (we were told there were also others who helped) took it upon themselves to carry all those saints across the freezing river. They crossed back and forth in that icy water until all 600 saints had made their away across. From there we trekked our way back to the bus, loaded our buckets back on the bus and headed to the Willie Handcart Center, where we would be camping the rest of the time.

What I learned: As I mentioned before, the time we spent at Martin’s Cove was the most spiritually rewarding part of the trek for me personally. As I was standing in Dan Jones’ Cove what struck me wasn’t the physical part of what I was doing and how hard it was going to be. What struck me was the question that filled my mind “Are you willing to do the hard things for My sake?” For me that was the purpose in me going on this trek. It was so I could be at a place where I would listen to what the Lord needed me to hear. As you all know we have been working on our adoption paperwork and it has actually been finished for quite sometime. That is all except our birthparent letter and picture pages. I still haven’t done them. I have been putting it off for weeks and weeks, not really knowing why. It is in that cove that I realized I haven’t done it because I didn’t want to deal with the emotional roller coaster that always comes once the paperwork is done and the waiting actually begins. It has been a long time since I have felt the need to repent as much as I did in those few moments we were there. I knew with such clarity that I had been in the wrong and was withholding blessings not only from myself but my entire family. I think all of us are asked at different points in our lives to do hard things in order to grow spiritually. When I look at what those pioneer saints accomplished I am inspired not only by their physical strength but more importantly by their incredible faith. They were willing to press forward and enduring the hard things in life in order to receive the blessings our Father in Heaven had in store for them. I needed that experience more than I could ever put into words. I should have had the faith to move forward in the process. I have experienced twice once with Madelyn and again with Jackson. I have seen what the Lord can accomplish when I do my part. And even after seeing the miracle of our children making their way to our family I still put off doing what I considered to be hard. I didn’t want to be bothered with it and therefore I refused to move forward. For that one experience I will forever be grateful I was asked to go on this trip.

Friday: LET THE LAUGHING AND MOCKING BEGIN! You know me and you know I am not known for my physical prowess. Not only that but I don’t like getting dirty and I certainly take a little pride in my appearance. If Thursday’s lesson was on repentance then Friday was all about me learning to leave the vanity of the world behind! I got up Friday morning at 5:30 am and put on my second set of pioneer clothing. And let me just say one thing about that…CAUTION WIDE LOAD AHEAD! Could clothing get any more unflattering? For heaven’s sake! I seriously looked about as wide as a bus! But I took it in stride and forged ahead! We had just started our 10 mile leg of our journey when we reached several mud holes in the road. We scouted out the narrowest part and the girls began to leap across. They all made it of course. Then it was my turn. Here was the plan…I would leap and Dallan would catch me. I leaped but there was no catch. I forgot to lift up my skirt and therefore ran out of room before I cleared the mud puddle. And yes, you guess right before I even knew what was happening I was on the ground in the mud! Half of my side was covered. I was filthy and worse yet I was humiliated. I had made a pact with one of my boys that I would not complain if he didn’t complain. You would be proud that I didn’t complain one time. Yes, there were some tears shed, more out of embarrassment than anything else but I never uttered a complaint. Poor Dallan felt so bad. He knows me and he really knows how vain I am. When I started crying my poor husband started to shed a tear on behalf of my muddy state as well. What a good guy I have. He tried so hard to wipe the mud off me, but there was so much of it, that it was completely impossible (on the way back to camp the kids were teasing that maybe we would still be able to see my outline in the mud). So we moved on….mud and all. We hadn’t made it very hard when my nose began to bleed. I am on a steroid to help reduce the swelling in my nose, so the doctor can assess what is going on with my sinuses. That morning I was a little sore and so I took a couple of Advil which is also a blood thinner. I didn’t know you shouldn’t take those two things together. My nose wouldn’t stop bleeding, and I am not just talking a little bit of blood, but large quantities of it. Poor Dallan was scared I was going to pass out. So he scooped me up and carried me over the mud to a dry patch of ground. There he laid me down and then proceeded to slightly argue with the missionary who was refusing to take me back to our truck in his little golf cart (he finally gave in when realized the bleeding was only getting worse and perhaps me walking back to the truck wasn’t such a great idea)! There I was mud all over my clothes, blood gushing from my nose and if that wasn’t humiliating enough they decided the best solution for the time being was to stick a tampon in my nose. Can I just say MORTIFIED??? My nose bled for about 35 to 40 minutes. When it first happened they told me to lean my head backwards which I did. BAD MOVE! Never lean your head back when you have a bloody nose. It doesn’t stop the bleeding; all it does is allow the blood to travel down your throat and into your stomach. I started getting sick to my stomach and before you know it I was gagging and spitting up large amounts (okay they seemed large to me!) of blood. And lucky for me this all happened before I got back to camp and before I made it to the golf cart. So yes, all the leaders and all the kids got to witness this very public display of me being disgraced. The whole thing was so not pretty! I was able to rest at camp and the bleeding finally stopped. All in all I missed about 4 miles of the trek. It would have been easy for me to give up but you would all be proud that I decided to keep walking. I made it back just in time for the women’s pull. This is when the missionaries come and call the men and boys off to fight in the Mormon battalion, and the girls take over pulling the handcart. They pull it all by themselves for about ¾ of a mile all which is uphill. At the top all the men are waiting. It was a sweet moment to see most of these young boys with tears in their eyes as they watched their “sisters” pulling the heavy handcarts all by themselves. That was another favorite moment of mine of the trek. From there we made our way to the Sweetwater and were able to cross. It is June and the water was still really cold. I couldn’t imagine how cold it would have been in November. So there you have it! I made it. I walked almost the entire thing and to be honest it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. It was hard and I was tired at the end of the day but I was proud that I did it and even more proud that I didn’t complain one time. Food never tasted so good and laying in my sleeping bag on the hard ground had never felt so comfortable. I slept like a baby! The experience taught me a lot. It made me appreciate the sacrifices that other people made for their faith. It made me appreciate the many comforts I enjoy on a daily basis. It gave me hope to see so many youth taking part in something other than what the world has to offer and actually having fun while doing it. I am so thankful Dallan and I got to experience it together and truthfully we will remember it as one of the most spiritually uplifting things we have ever done together as a couple. And the best part was….for three days I completely escaped the pressures of life! I didn’t think of job interviews and the possibility of us moving in the next few weeks. For three days we got a reprieve from the big decisions we are making right now and it was wonderful! So here is my advice….if you ever get a chance to go…DO IT! There you have it…I CAME…I SAW…I CONQUERED! And I am a better person for having gone through it.

Veni - Vidi - Vici

I CAME
I SAW
I CONQUERED....Stay tuned!

I knew there was a reason

It is my firm belief that there is reason and purpose as to why things happen a certain way in this life. And there was a reason as to why I was born in a time when pulling a hand cart wasn't something that would EVER be asked of me. Because the truth is I would not have made it. I would have been one of those pioneer women who gave up less than a mile into the trip. Better yet, I would have been one of those women who gave up as soon as she saw the mode of transportation she would be using. With all that said this will be me and Dallan in a matter of days! Who says God doesn't have a sense of humor? Everyone please start praying now.

Madelyn's Big Night!

Here are some pictures of Madelyn the night of her dance recital. I think it went pretty well other than her hitting one of her classmates for not doing being in the right place! I am still trying to talk Dallan into teaching me how to post video. If he ever does I will make sure and post some of her cute dance moves. Oh by the way, the costume is supposed to be a little "chick". They danced to Flip, Flop, Fly in that yellow get-up! The other one is an angel of course! And they danced to the music of Angels We Have Heard on High. That one was a disaster and yes, that was the one where she pushed/hit the little girl that was not doing what she was supposed to be doing. Check back later to see if I was able to post the video we took. But for now please just enjoy Madelyn in all of her cuteness!

Still laughing...

Now this is what I call

F-U-N-N-Y!

Thank you Lexi!

Unwrap A Smile

I layed in bed all night thinking about this post, trying to come up with the perfect title. Here were some of the contenders....

1. Please don't judge me.
2. Have you ever....
3. I am not an emotional eater...REALLY I'm not.
4. Who am I kidding.
5. I will get back on the wagon tomorrow.
6. I know I am going to hate myself in the morning.
7. It's all fun and games until....

So yesterday wasn't a great day. Dallan called about 2 hours after his interview. I ran to the phone (the only time I am willing to run), answered and asked okay what's the verdict. He said I have good news and I have bad news, which do you want first? You know as well as I do that when someone says that to you it is never good news just bad and really bad. But I took the bait and said give me the good first. He said I think I did really well in my interviews and I said okay that is good, so what's the bad? He said the bad is the people I interviewed with were idiots. To make a very sad and long story short this trip was a complete waste of a vacation day. He couldn't get over how unprofessional they were and how the company had paid for such a wasted trip. The guys he interviewed with were not even the guys who make the decisions as to who will be hired. He said not one of them asked him a question that wasn't written on a piece of paper and that one guy he spoke to chewed bubble gum through the entire interview. They told him nothing about the company and nothing about what he would be doing.

So we hung up...both of us dissapointed for lots of reasons. I called my mom. I cried a little bit (so much for my indifference huh?) and then I packed up the kids and headed to the store for a little retail therapy...my favorite kind. I picked up some flowers and window cleaner and on the way to the ckeckout counter I saw the stand stacked with Little Debbie snack cakes in varying kinds. Madelyn mentioned they looked yummy and that was all the excuse i needed...before she could say "Can we get some?", I had thrown two boxes in our cart. Oh, and did I mention the king size box of milk duds I picked up while standing in line (thank you Lexi)?

We made it home without me tearing in to the boxes of the before mentioned snack cakes. I made it the rest of the day without eating a single one and later that evening as I walked past them I even congratulated myself for having self control. So the kids went to bed and I stayed up to catch up on my DVR events and while laying there I thought I will just have one...from each box. Oh who knew processed sugar could taste so good...I will just have one more...from box A. Before I knew it box A had only three little snack cakes left. I had almost eaten the entire box in the span of about 2 hours. I refuse to mention what kind of snack cake it actually was because well I do have some sense of pride. So much for self control.

Arizona Here We Come....

Just Teasing! Actually, Dallan's interview is tomorrow and I am feeling a little nervous about it. When I think about moving again and whether or not I really want to live in a place that is hotter than Haites (or is it Hades, the actual name for the god of the dead) I just look outside and remember where I am posting from....Rexburg, Idaho and then I remember....anywhere even Hades (use whichever spelling you prefer) is better than here! So positive vibes for the Lott family please and I will keep you posted. And further more I am trying my best to remain indifferent to this job interview so I don't loose it when it all goes south. In that case...send postive vibes or don't...it really makes no difference to me!